How To Use A Neti Pot
{Originally published on Whoorl}
1. Enter Mother’s Market. Spend upwards of twenty minutes aimlessly walking around the store, feigning interest in various items while, in reality, you are too shy to ask the cute dude with dreads about the Neti Pot.
2. Locate a very tall Swedish man with a skinny plumber’s butt and ask for assistance locating the Neti Pots. Loudly knock over an organic tissue box display with your stroller.
3. Find and purchase Neti Pot.
4. Return home. Sit on couch. Take Neti Pot box out of the shopping bag.
5. Stare at Neti Pot box.
6. Repeat #5 several times.
7. Make dinner.
8. Finish dinner. Sit on couch.
9. Repeat #5.
10. Place Neti Pot box on the couch next to you, barely touching your leg. Pray that the physical contact alone will unleash the magical healing powers of the Neti Pot.
11. Realize magical Neti Pot diffusion isn’t happening. Decide to open the box.
12. While opening the box, notice the term “nasal douching” written on the side. Gag forcefully. Repeat #5.
