Blog Nosh Magazine

That's What I Like About You

Originally published on Deb on the Rocks

I have a theory that humans take a fancy to the things that keep them in a perpetual state of foreplay.  Not in a perpetual state of pre-orgasm, because as we have established, constantly living on the edge of a volcano could be a bit too much.  But foreplay, a continuous state of desire, arousal, exploration and craving, that is the human preference.

Baseball, politics, film, cooking, eating, organizing, Viggo Mortensen, aquariums, god only know what you are into. I'm betting that if we could start in the part of your brain where your love of whatever it is you love resides and follow the sparking and frayed wiring past where it crosses the blue synapses and the firing yellow connections and that knot of red wire, we would find a glowing hotspot in your neural network that's throbbing and straining to break through a zipper.

That said, I love the roller derby.

Inner monologue upon finding an unfamiliar pink pill on the bathroom floor

Originally published on Deb on the Rocks

Oh my god.  What is this?  OH MY GOD?!?!? Who is taking pills? I will not survive these high school years, I won't.

What is it, speed, painkiller, what? I've never taken anything that looks like that. What am I going to do? I need to sell this house and homeschool these kids in Idaho until they are 21.

Crap. I need to go to the pill I.D. website and describe this thing and find out what it is. Then I'm going to track down the dealer and go freaky bloody Kill Bill ninja MILF-on-fire lioness on his pathetic dealing skanky existence. Who would sell pills to kids?!?! I'm going to pluck out his eyeballs.

(I reach down to pick up the pill. It feels somewhat soft, like a soft gel pill. I bring it close to my face to see if it has any markings, and I can smell it. It smells like cotton candy.)

Pill identified:  squashed mini jelly bean.

Oh my god, they are slobs but I love them, they are such good kids. I love my sweet sweet babies!!!

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Editors Pick by Megan from Velveteen Mind:  One thing that I would occasionally forget about Deb on the Rocks is that she is a mom.  That's precisely why we warmly welcome her voice to Blog Nosh Magazine because I absolutely admit to stereotyping lesbians as single swingers on occasion.  Don't you love assumptions?

Check out the original post and be sure to click subscribe, because you won't want to squander this chance to stop being an ignorant bigot like me.  However, to be fair, she does write a lot about sex...  In other words, why on earth are you not stalking her blog already???